100 Days of Pinterest: Day 87 - The Bully and a Depression Cake Recipe

I can't believe I'm on day eighty-seven of my '100 Days of Pinterest' challenge. When I first started this, I was trying to come up with something that would help take my mind off of my Multiple Sclerosis. I didn't want to do therapy, because I talk too much and figured I'd rack up a lot of bills in therapy time. For those who know me, they'll agree that talking is my strong suite. I don't like to talk at people, but I love a good conversation. One where both sides get to share, laugh, or vent. My best friend, Bethany, is a good conversationalist. I think that's why we have been the best of friends for so long. Other than having things in common, we both like to laugh and have fun. That's what matters in life. Don't you agree? 

One thing Bethany has taught me in the past decade is that I'm just fine the way I am. I was always called weird in school and was picked on for being me. I think it was because I was intelligent, quiet, and good at sports. I'm not super model gorgeous either, just plain old me. I don't really know. I do have an odd sense of humor, so maybe that's it. I don't really dwell on such trivial things, so I'm not going to start now. I'm telling you all this, because as a person who was bullied it took me a long time to accept myself. I never really thought I was good enough for anything. I let other's insults affect my self-esteem. I couldn't see past their words to the person that was me. Not until I had my sons and made such good friends as Bethany. I know that's sad, but it's real. I think we've all felt that way at some point in life or been treated like we weren't good enough. If you haven't, then go you! Keep on rocking that super self-esteem.  

I know discussing this is off topic, but I ran into my high school bully the other day at the grocery store. Even at thirty-five years old, that feeling I used to get in high school resurfaced and I felt like that worthless teenager again...only for a moment, but it still consumed me. I saw her walking in my direction pushing a shopping cart. She had a young boy with her who was about the same age as my oldest son. She noticed me and smiled. That's when my heart sank. All of the anger and rejection that I had gotten over suddenly reappeared. I put myself in check and smiled back at her. That must have been the invite for her to stop and talk to me. Great! She began the conversation asking how I've been, the normal small talk. Did she not know that because of her I felt like high school was the most awful period of my life? I continued the conversation asking how life was treating her. All was good. I was secretly hoping she was struggling with life as much as I have. I know that's mean, but that's what I felt. 

What happened next changed my view of her for the rest of my life. She asked her son to get a box of cereal from the aisle we were standing next to and once he left she said, "I know I treated you bad in school and I wanted to apologize for that."  What the hell?! I heard her say it and just sort of stared at her a moment. I didn't know if I wanted to cry or kick her ass (I've never been in a fight, so I'm not going to start now). All of that pent up anger and vulnerability I had experienced finally came to a peak. Here was my chance to lay into her and tell her about the feelings I experienced due to her lack of common human decency. I'm no stranger to Depression and she was one of the main reasons I wanted to give up on life in high school. 

Now, here she is admitting that she knew what she did was wrong. I looked down for a moment, trying to gather my emotions. Immature me was saying laugh in her face and walk away, but the grown-up me looked at her and said "I appreciate the apology. I don't think you understand how much you hurt me, but I forgive you." She smiled and then I realized she had been carrying that guilt around as long as I'd been carrying the rejection. She hugged me and when she backed away I could see in her face just how relieved she was. Her son returned and looked at us with that "can we go now" look that kids love to give. We parted ways and what she said to her son really helped me forgive her completely. He asked, "who was that lady" and she responded by saying "I was mean to her when I was younger and I just apologized."  Her son responded with "that was nice." It was nice. I wasn't sure her apology was genuine, but she admitted to her son that she had done something wrong and chose to make it right. That changed my view of her and helped me genuinely forgive her. I'm not going to 'friend' her on Facebook or go out of my way to chat with her when I see her again, but I can finally close that chapter of my life off. It feels good. Score one for me!

I know that was COMPLETELY off topic from my Pinterest challenge, but I had to share it. Maybe one of you bullied someone at one point, or maybe you were in the same shoes I was. I hope you get this moment too someday, because it is an amazing feeling. Since I shared my Depression issues with you, I figured I'd end this post with a recent Pin I tried for Depression Cake....how fitting, right? It's simple and there are no eggs, milk, or butter!! That's right, those lactose intolerant family members can eat cake too!! I know, this isn't a feel sad, boo hoo Depression Cake. This was a cake they made back during the Great Depression when it was difficult to come across eggs, milk, and butter due to finances. Money was tight and women got creative in their kitchens. 

Not only is this cake super moist and delicious, you can make the whole thing in the dish you cook it in. I decided to make a layered cake, so I put it into a bowl to mix it and then split it into the two cake pans. If you were going to use an 8x8 pan you can mix the whole thing in there and throw it in the oven. To make the two cake pan layered cake, split the batter evenly into two cake pans and then cook them for about twelve minutes. It really just depends on your oven. Check them with a toothpick to make sure they're done. If you poke a toothpick into the center of the cake and it comes out clean your cakes are ready to be taken out of the oven and placed onto a cooling rack. Easy peasy!

Here's the recipe (originally posted on sweetlittlebluebird.com):

Depression Cake  (Also called Crazy Cake)

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 Cups flour (all-purpose)
• 3 Tbsp. cocoa (unsweetened)
• 1 Cup sugar (All purpose sugar - Granulated Pure Cane Sugar)
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp.  salt

• 1 tsp. white vinegar
• 1 tsp.  pure vanilla extract
• 5 Tbsp. vegetable oil 
• 1 Cup water 

Directions 
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Mix first 5 dry ingredients in a greased 8" square baking pan.  Make 3 depressions in dry ingredients - two small, one larger. Pour vinegar in one depression, vanilla in the other and the vegetable oil in third larger depression.  Pour water over all.  Mix well until smooth.

Bake on middle rack of oven for 35 minutes.  Check with toothpick to make sure it comes out clean.  Cool.  Top with your favorite frosting.  Enjoy!

Note:  Oven cooking times may vary, be sure to check your cake to make sure you do not over bake.

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As I mentioned before I am posting pics of the antique dresser my husband re-purposed into our new entertainment stand. It's so nice and it's one of a kind. He did an amazing job. He removed the middle drawer and the top two drawers, then added the material to make them shelves. I found some of those fabric totes at the Dollar Tree and they fit perfectly. We left the bottom drawer in, because it had these amazing glass handles. Look at those claw foot legs, so unique! The pictures don't do it justice, but you get the idea. It looks so good. Way to go, love!








As always, thanks for reading.

Take care!
NB