Changes: Day 2

Okay. Well, my husband started his new job a week ago today. He was in training and was not told exactly what hours or what days he would be working exactly until this past Thursday, October 3rd. Well, it just so happens he got second shift and seven days a week!

When he texted me the news I was at work. I immediately responded with "I want a divorce!" and began crying. How was I going to raise two boys without my cohort in crime by my side each and everyday? We've been together for fourteen years this year and never been apart for more than three days at a time. I found out I have MS this year and things have been so tumultuous as it is, then this.  How were the boys going to adapt to not having their dad around all of the time? This is going to be hard.

Today is day two without him around. It absolutely sucks knowing I won't get to see him again until Saturday morning. Of course I will get to kiss him in the morning when I leave for work at 5 a.m., but even then he will be sound asleep .  I hate not being able to talk to him about stupid stuff that has happened throughout the day or discuss things going on with the boys.

I feel sort of lost at this point. After fourteen years of seeing his face every evening I don't know what to do without that. I keep busy with the boys, thank goodness. They are awesome sons and I know they are missing him just as much as I am.

He didn't do this to get away from his family. This I understand. He did this to better our lives. You see, where he works has the best health benefits around and pays really well. He is doing this so that I can take care of my MS and we can provide the best life possible for our sons. I get that, but I still hate that it comes at the cost of his time with our family. I am proud of him, but I miss him so much.

Everybody keeps saying that it will get easier. It better. Life keeps getting more and more difficult, so why would this be any different? I don't necessarily think it will get easier, I think we'll just learn to deal with it. We'll see I guess.

I love you CTB.

10.08.2013
NB